Hey Reader,

When I was a little girl, I could fall asleep on command.

Honestly—no fuss, no nightlights, no elaborate rituals. I loved sleeping. I’d curl up, tuck in, and drift off like it was my superpower.

You can ask my mum, she's a proud reader of my emails - Hi mum!

These days?

Let’s say… that magical ability now comes with terms and conditions.

Falling asleep and staying asleep is a skill I’ve had to relearn in midlife—and I know I’m not the only one.

So many women I speak to personally and professionally share a variation of this story:

“I’m fine getting to sleep, but then I wake up—2am, 3am, 4:27am—and my brain switches on like it's hosting a TED Talk.”

The fancy name for this is sleep maintenance insomnia, and it’s very common during perimenopause, menopause and later in life.

Here are a few of the key players behind the 3 am wake-up call:

1. Cortisol is peaking too early

Cortisol is your body’s natural "get-up-and-go" hormone.

It’s supposed to rise gently in the early morning to help you wake up feeling refreshed.

But in perimenopause, your stress response system (HPA axis) becomes more sensitive, and cortisol can spike at the wrong time, like 2 or 3 am, pulling you out of deep sleep.

This is likely a factor if you feel alert, anxious, or physically restless at night.

2. Estrogen and progesterone are dropping

These hormones do more than regulate your cycle—they help regulate sleep.

• Oestrogen supports melatonin production- your sleep hormone- and keeps cortisol in check.
• Progesterone has a calming, sedative-like effect on the brain by connecting to GABA (your calming neurotransmitter) and making it even more soothing.

As they decline, your brain becomes more reactive to stress, and your natural sleep rhythm can get thrown off. You’re not imagining things—your brain is wired differently now.

3. Blood sugar is crashing at night

Low blood sugar is a sneaky but common trigger.
When your glucose drops too far during the night (especially if you had alcohol, sugar, a high-carb meal close to bed or skipped protein), your body releases cortisol to bring it back up.

That surge can jolt you awake. You might feel hot, anxious, or just inexplicably alert.

4. Your nervous system isn’t winding down

Let’s face it: for many women, bedtime is when the body finally stops—but the mind keeps going.

Even if you’re exhausted, if your nervous system hasn’t been given time and tools to soften, sleep won’t come easily—or stay for long.

5. Caffeine is still in your system (yes, even from early in the day)

Caffeine blocks adenosine, the chemical in your brain that builds up during the day and creates sleep pressure. Adenosine is responsible for making you feel sleepy and then keeps you in a deep, restorative sleep

But when caffeine is still in your system, you might fall asleep, but sleep is shallow and fragmented, not deep and restorative

And as we move through perimenopause, our bodies metabolise caffeine more slowly. What didn’t bother you at 30 might now leave you buzzing at 3 am—even if you had it 10 hours earlier.

👉 Studies have shown that caffeine can delay the timing of your body clock, reduce total sleep time, and worsen sleep maintenance, especially in women with already-changing hormone patterns.

(For the science-y among you: Study on caffeine and sleep)

But first, don’t panic if you do wake up.

Instead, try this:

• Keep the lights very low or don’t turn them on at all
• Avoid screens (even a peek can send the wrong message to your brain)
• Read a book (not a thriller!), do some slow breathing, or rest
• Tell yourself gently: “It’s okay to be awake. My body will sleep again soon.”

Your nervous system is always listening. Staying calm helps you drift back off much more easily than forcing it.

Sleep isn't just about what happens at night.

It’s about how we care for ourselves during the day.

Here are some small but powerful shifts that help me (and the women I work with) find our way back to better sleep, whether you have trouble falling asleep, staying asleep or both!:

Calm your evenings

• Herbal allies like lemon balm, passionflower, or skullcap can gently ease tension and get you ready for sleep.
• Magnesium (especially glycinate or threonate) supports your nervous system and can promote deeper sleep.
• Try a calming ritual: breathwork, journaling, slow movement, or a hot bath.

Balance blood sugar before bed

• If you suspect low blood sugar may be an issue, a small protein-rich snack before bed can prevent low blood sugar and then the cortisol spikes that follow
• Avoid alcohol and sugary foods, especially in the evening.

Anchor your circadian rhythm

• Morning sunlight exposure (even 10 minutes outside) helps regulate your body clock and prepares it for sleeping at the right time.
• Try to keep consistent sleep and wake times, even on weekends

Support your stress system

• Build in little rests through your day: moments of quiet, nature, movement, or play to avoid excess cortisol.
• Supporting the adrenals is key in perimenopause, because they take over some of the production of oestrogen as your ovaries slow down.

(If you are not yet in midlife, or are way past menopause and struggling with sleep, much of this information applies to you too!)

I used to think sleep just changed with age, that waking in the night was inevitable and unchangeable.

But now I know that sleep needs more support in midlife—not because something is wrong, but because so much is shifting beneath the surface.

Your body is navigating a lot. Hormones, stress, blood sugar, and the nervous system are all working hard behind the scenes.

And when you understand what’s going on, you can actually do something about it.

If this email has you nodding your head, then hit 'reply' and let me know what your sleep is like at the moment!

Warmest,

Wendy

PS. If you're a woman in midlife and you want to learn more about supporting your sleep, your hormones, and your energy—in a way that actually makes sense for your life now—come join me in the Green Woman’s Circle.

It’s my new monthly membership where we explore topics like this with practical tools, gentle learning, and honest conversation.